Picture: Hanuman from sacred Hindu texts. the epitome of pure devotion and unconquerable will when reminded of his divine nature. Picture by Lakshmi (Gargi)

We can retreat in life or fight on for progress; each day we are on a battlefield of some sort and each day we decide which we are to do. For so many years my battlefield was on the inner plane—daily meditation, working in the world without attachment to outcomes and with my mind focused on God—these were my battlegrounds. Then God directed me out of the work world and put me solidly face to face with myself in hand to hand combat through deepening meditation–there is no greater discipline than this.

More recently God has seen fit that this body should be a focus for yet another battleground. First, over three years ago melanoma was found in the small intestines and then in the liver, which were removed by surgery. Then two months ago a hemorrhagic stroke the size of a lemon in my right hemisphere had the real possibility of killing this body. But, through God and Gurus Grace, extensive healthcare, intensive prayers and a determined will I made a dramatic recovery according to all the doctors and caregivers.

This past week I have had a viral infection that has really taken the wind out of my sails—it is slowly improving now. Earlier this week I went in for MRI scan of the brain and Saturday my saintly surgeon doctor called with the results. I have two spots on my brain that are “suspicious,” meaning he thinks they are spots of melanoma. If his reading of the results is confirmed, then he recommends radiation treatment. I also have a spot on my spine which will be biopsied this next Thursday. If this is also melanoma, which he is suspicious of, then they will take tissue from the biopsy and create a concoction to inject back into the body to trigger the immune system to look for melanoma and destroy it; this is called immunotherapy.

While this is a lot of news, it by no means all dire. We have discovered the spots on the brain before they created more strokes, the biopsy from the spine may yield the means for a lasting treatment that keeps the melanoma at bay. While I am weaker from the virus, God has left intact my tremendous desire to fight for perfect health, and He has given me a first-class health system and you, my first class-prayer warriors, at my side. For that I am remarkably thankful. I could write volumes about Carla’s perfect seva during all of this time, and the many, many gifts of kindnesses by gentle and loving devotees.

What I am sorry for is not to spend more time with you, but the doctor has stressed and my experience has shown that my brain and body continues to need rest for full recovery. So please receive my greatest prayers of love and blessings to you.

P.S. Please pray for our dear Micheline from Prince Rupert, a sincere kriyaban these many years, keep her in your thoughts and prayers as she has had a recurrence of cancer. Om Sri Ram Jai Ram Jai Jai Ram!

 

You must not be afraid to face life. Life is exciting! It is terrifically exciting! And each of us came with a job to do for God, no matter how humble it is. It doesn’t matter because we can make each humble job great in God. Because the greatness is not in the job itself, it is the spirit in which it is done for Him–the spirit of service, the spirit of total renunciation of self, the total uplifting and of giving yourself to the Infinite Creator.

-Mother Hamilton from “Message from Mother”

Mother loved life here in the world, because she had surrendered all to God and as a result, she came to see the world as God. This rare universal vision makes us aware that the building blocks of creation itself are made up of God-stuff—Electrons, protons and neutrons and all charged particles have come from the Infinite’s storehouse; because something cannot come from nothing. “And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.” (Genesis 1:3) So light itself came directly from God’s creative factory, as did all else. When there is only God, and God is love, then how can you do anything but love all—even as God does.

It is human nature to be attracted to that which is pleasurable and be repulsed by that which causes pain, so to appreciate that all is God, our experience must rise above the two forces of attraction and repulsion. In order to do that we must experience a higher order of consciousness; it must rise to the level of God-consciousness in which all creation is seen as Divine. Anything less leaves us in the dual realm and entails suffering. This suffering is different than body pain, it is suffering of consciousness because we feel separated from God.

We try to arrange life so that pain is mitigated and pleasure is maximized, but we can never remove suffering as long as we live according to the limits of the body. To know God we must experience God. While this may seem a self-evident truth, it is amazing how many try to know God by reading books, through philosophical discussions, by doing good works and through the reasoning mind. To experience God beyond an occasional moment of grace we must deeply meditate, and even then it cannot be simply putting in your time, you must actively touch the fabric of that which is God—you experience His uplifting Presence, peace, bliss and wisdom. Through this touch you are transformed, until you are a fit instrument for unbroken Divine Consciousness.

Now you live, breath and act according to active Divine Will. Your life is transformed, never to be the same again. Your life is not your own in a human sense, nor do your want it to be. You exist in continuous surrender, for that is now your natural state. Victory is now yours through your surrender, the falsity of ego is but a past dream and you love life, because all of life is now seen as a process of evolution in becoming Divine. Now your life itself is exciting because you are filled with bliss and wonder at all the works God does within and without.

A Bliss-filled Devotee 

Fred Camets, an early disciple of Mother’s, drove from his town just north of Portland up to Seattle every week. Fred had a humble job as custodian of a church. His car was an older model and it was somewhat a miracle that it made its weekly pilgrimage to Seattle with Fred at its blissful helm. Alone amongst all the disciples Fred knelt at Mother’s feet at the start of each meditation. I felt he did this for all of us—it was a custom Mother neither encouraged or even allowed. When Fred pronamed, with his face to the floor, he was suffused with Light and Bliss. In fact whenever I saw Fred, he was filled with an inner glow of purity. I can only imagine that the church he cleaned was blessed, because Fred was blessed.

Health Update

Recovery remains all good news for regaining the normal use of this body. From a wheelchair I graduated to a quad walking stick with a “gate belt” around my waist that Carla would hold as I walked (safety first). Then I walked in the house without Carla spotting me while using the quad cane. Now I am walking without any cane or assistance—what freedom. I am mindful of being safe, but as strength and endurance continues to build I continue to broaden the activities I do. I have walked up our driveway and up the road a ways with Carla at my side. For my left arm I am using a small barbell weight to improve strength.

All and all I am happy with the progress. Seeing my surgeon this past week, Dr. S. said he was amazed at my progress—he really couldn’t believe it. Dr. S. did have some news that was not so welcome. The results of my PET scan showed a dark spot on my spine at T-7, between the shoulder blades. He ordered a biopsy, I will let you know the results when it comes back.

In receiving this news, I focus on what I can do today—so I send light and healing to the dark spot area. For today I am fully engaged with getting this body strong and in perfect working order. As God is the Author of all of our beings and destinies, I leave it in His hands to see to it that all should unfold perfectly according to His will. I do all that I can to maintain perfect health. While knowing I am not this body, yet it is my part to be its good steward— so that I may continue to serve God and Gurus in all I do.

 

I have been thrice blessed—a recipient of extraordinary grace by the universal Divine Mother coming to me in human form. The first came as my physical mother who suffered through my birth into this world. As I was breeched when still in the womb, she had tears that needed sutures afterwards and then bed rest. After that she gave me a lifetime of unconditional love made manifest through loving, caring acts; anything in her capacity to give, she gave to me. She always held out the best in me even when I did not do so for myself.

I took a class while pursuing my degree in psychology—interpreting freehand family drawings. As students we presented sketches we made of our family of origin and the professor helped to bring out the deeper meaning from the drawings. I had pictured my mother sitting in a blue chair with a high back. The professor asked me questions about elements regarding the picture, then he came to my mother and the chair. He said, “the blue back of the chair surrounds your mother’s head suggests a halo. Do you think of your mother as a saint?” Knowing he had a Freudian point of view I knew I was skating on thin ice. My courage rose to the occasion, I said, “Yes, I do.” Surprisingly, he said, “That’s good, I think of my mother in the same way.” Whew!

For the ultimate spiritual journey I was destined for, my mother could not help me. To give me a spiritual birth required someone with unique qualifications. Mother Hamilton had those qualifications and more. The Divine Mother had descended to earth directly in her form to help devotees ascend to God-realization, and to help the world at large through a difficult transition toward higher spiritual consciousness. She lovingly called me to herself as I entered my twentieth year that I might take a second birth—a spiritual birth.

Mother also saw the best in me, when I did not always hold it for myself. She awakened divinity in me, taught me the truth and was a perfect embodiment for being perfectly human and Divine. She also brought to me a remarkable guru-lineage and the spiritually perfected Swami (Papa) Ramdas. Each one of these supremely realized souls manifested pure divinity with a rich variety of expressions in their humanity. It helped me to know I need not be a carbon copy of any personality. Rather, I came to know that God delights in expressing Himself as unique divine personalities.

Mother left the body before I had completed my full God-realization, so she guided me to the feet of Swami Satchidananda—Papa’s spiritual child. Interestingly I came to think of Swamiji as my second spiritual mother. It was through the power of God in Mother and in Swamiji that I was lifted into the spiritual union that, for so many years, I had yearned. Through Swamiji’s quiet ways I was given yet another example of how God is uniquely expressed through a human personality. When Swamiji smiled, it was the Divine Mother who smiled through him.

From the beginning, I did not think of God as a personality. It has often been the case that devotees have had to transcend limiting conceptions they have of God in order to enter the transcendent, formless Consciousness. In my case I learned to appreciate that the Infinite takes joy in His individual expressions; I perceived the One wearing different masks and came to appreciate those unique manifestations as being Divine. It is the Divine Mother, who has manifested as this entire universe—a loving, compassionate, exacting Mother who seeks to awaken us to the fact that it is She behind the mask of humanity—nay behind all creation, if we only have the wit to lift the veil and know Her in truth and reality.

Mother’s Day is a day of recognition of how Divine Mother manifests as our own mothers and has taken direct human incarnation through our own Mother Hamilton. So happy Mother’ Day to all mothers—both human and Divine.

 

Will Power is a fundamental part of our individuality. It can be used for noble, constructive purposes or it can equally be used to degrade life and be so weakened that we feel that we have lost ourselves. Even when we feel helpless in life against bad habits that work against us, we are actually using great amount of will power—only in the negative.

Take someone, for instance, who has a drug addiction. That one may feel helplessly caught in the addiction, however when it comes to feeding the habit there is no end to the creativity and lengths that one will go to find the means for satisfying his craving—that is an example of negative will power in action.

Tap into that same will power and train it to seek out good and positive ends, and what had seemed to be helplessness turns into empowerment. You can visualize your Self as the highest and best core part of you, who operates through your ego-self who in turn exercises will power through the mind and body. A spiritually tuned will is sensitively aligned to the Self, or God’s will. The Self always takes action for the highest good of everyone concerned and leads the soul to ultimate spiritual freedom.

The opposite of surrender to Divine Will is a mind driven by the dictates of the body, as well as people and circumstances around you. The little self feels it does not have a choice in life when faced with the demands by the body and from social pressure. Once again, when properly analyzed, great will power is being employed by the self to meet the cravings of the body and the expectations from others, only it chooses to please others at the sacrifice of the self. You feel caught in a world of no choices, only you will go to great lengths to do this, using a very strong will to so. Let us take another example, you have a fear of heights and you approach a cliff. Your reaction to falling will be swift and powerful to avoid the edge of the cliff—a remarkable use of will in the moment.

Recognizing how powerful your will is—even when used for ends that do not serve you well—can be the beginning of “owning” your will. Then it is a matter of going to the roots of your will power and learning to direct it to positive ends.

I have had great opportunities to do just that during my recovery. What before operated automatically through the left side of my body as muscle memory, had to be learned all over again. The power to walk entails so much communication between the brain and the body—millions of calculations going on throughout this process. It something that we can take for granted when it is a well-worn pathway in the brain, nervous system and muscular system. Take those pathways away and now we are a toddler taking uncertain steps in a brand-new world.

Relearning to walk means every step is done mindfully and with great intention—the power of will consciously used. Fortunately, as an adult I have awareness that transcends that of the toddler. I use the imaging power of my brain to mentally see myself taking steps smoothly, with strength and confidence, all the while remaining mindfully aware of staying safe. Mentally, I connect these actions coming from my core self, which in turn flows from my deeper Self—thus, even ordinary action becomes an expression of Divine Will. This inner attunement to spiritual grace greatly speeds up healing.

When I stand, I feel the movement of life-force flowing from behind me from an unlimited Source that enters the body through the back of my head and along my spine. This connection keeps me linked to the source of my strength and when the body is exhausted from the effort, I keep that openness to the infinite supply of Spirit. I also affirm that I am made in the likeness and image of perfect Divine Consciousness, and that all things are possible and doable through Grace. Individual will attuned to Divine Will makes for our greatest advancement physically, mentally and spiritually.

Health Update: My brain continues to heal. I am sometimes surprised how everyday activities can tire the body and then the amount of rest it asks for afterwards. Everyday there continues to be new “firsts.” I take several trips a day the length of the house walking with the quad cane with Carla spotting me every step of the way, and have even taken forays without using a cane at all. My left leg and arm continue to build strength and stamina—taking simple steps has never felt so good. Nerve pain caused by the brain sending signals through the wrong nerve pathways is slowly decreasing. So, there is much to be grateful for and as always you, as members of Team Total Recovery, are at the top of my gratitude list.

 

 

 

For the past 45 years, I have had a constant companion, a little book with a poetic rendition of the Bhagavad Gita printed in 1904, the same translation that Master and Papa carried with them (by Sir Edwin Arnold). It has been a source of inspiration and insight that has remained fresh and alive through the years. Some others have told me its poetic translation makes it difficult to penetrate, but I have always found it a reflection of the Gita’s Sanskrit that makes it a “Song Celestial.”

In the fifth chapter of the Gita Arjuna wants clarification from Krishna. At one point Krishna has said to sit in meditation and go beyond creation as a focus for sadhana, and at other times he says to be active in the world and perform actions without attachment to the results—selfless service. Should we renounce the world and sit in meditation only or fulfill our duty with right attitude?

Arjuna.

Yet, Krishna! at the one time thou dost laud

Surcease of works, and, at another time,

Service through work. Of these twain plainly tell

Which is the better way?

Krishna.

To cease from works

Is well, and to do works in holiness

Is well; and both conduct to bliss supreme;

But of these twain the better way is his

Who working piously refraineth not.

That is the true Renouncer, firm and fixed,

Who — seeking nought, rejecting nought — dwells proof

Against the “opposites.” O valiant Prince!

In doing, such breaks lightly from all deed:

‘Tis the new scholar talks as they were two,

This Sankhya and this (Karma) Yoga: wise men know

Who husbands one plucks golden fruit of both!

….Whoso is fixed in holiness, self-ruled,

Pure-hearted, lord of senses and of self,

Lost in the common life of all which lives –

A “Yogayukt” — he is a Saint who wends

Straightway to Brahm. Such an one is not touched

By taint of deeds. “Nought of myself I do!”

Thus will he think-who holds the truth of truths.

There are few who can retire from the activities of life  full time and exclusively merge into God. Better to lead a life of balance, fulfill your duties in life and purify your body and mind by being “in the world, not of the world.” Time in meditation anchors us to the true Self and then to go out into this world and do all as His faithful servant. With such a right attitude you merge and become one with highest consciousness, seeing God as the sole doer.

 

 

 

Yoga, as we know, is far more than a system of physical exercises, but a complete set of methods that seeks to give the ideal physical, mental and spiritual health. Through Kriya Yoga we are given the highest teachings to attain awakened spiritual enlightenment by developing the higher centers of consciousness in the spine and the brain. Yoga is a practical philosophy with measurable goals to be attained in physical health and enlightenment.

Applying these methods during my time in rehab has made it possible for me to make progress that astonished the various therapists working with me. Here are some of the methods and results:

Meditation—Of course meditation is at the core of our spiritual practice. While there are many benefits to this practice, its ultimate goal of being established in the Self has been of enormous value. The Self remains unmoved in a world of constant change. This un-movability keeps the changeable/reactive self rooted in the immutable core of Being. As a result there is not wasted energy in fear and uncertainty. Rather the mind is focused on what needs to happen now—this is of great benefit in rehab as total focus of the mind is needed for even the simplest of actions.

Faith and Devotion—A feeling of love and devotion for God gives one a sense of connectedness and removes the feeling of isolation that can come with circumstances in which one feels a lack of control. Feeling that God and Gurus are with you each step of the way brings strength and a knowledge that all is going according to the Divine Plan. The hand of God is ever with you in the most loving way. When pain comes it is turned over to God and you are given the ability to endure it or rise above it. Your best Friend is always with you, and this is a wonderful comfort.

Gratitude—Through a long history of being conscious for that which makes you grateful to your Creator, you are aware of more than the challenges you face and see unnumbered things to be grateful for. This is no small thing when healing from an injury.

Energization Exercises—Master gave us a gift through his Energization Exercises. As I lay in bed in the early morning hours I practiced tensing and releasing and feeling the life-force flowing into body parts. Even those parts in my leg and arm that did not respond to physical tensing, I have no doubt were being awakened by the mental focus of guiding energy to those muscle groups. As they woke up, the tensing started with minute movement, and it has grown stronger and is done with more control.

Alternate Nose Breathing—Erin lovingly sent me information on the benefits of  alternate nose breathing—They have done studies for stroke patients in rehab and it has been proven to speed up the recovery time. Early morning hours have been set aside for this practice, as well as sporadic times during the day. This practice has a calming effect along with improved focus for the mind.

Discernment—With Spiritual attunement comes discernment for what is true. On different occasions nurses gave me their own ideas as facts, that were untrue. The first occasion the nurse said in conversation, that of course I had a stroke, as I was older. Just like a car wears out and needs a new transmission, or other repairs, we will get sick and wear out with age, then she walked out of the room. Later when she returned I said that I had thought about what she said. I said, “Our bodies are different than machines. A car cannot repair itself, and even in this moment my body is doing just that in a miraculous way. Our bodies are working miracles and that right nutrition, right thinking and God can heal what ails the body. She agreed and in a short time she changed from someone who looked to be carrying the world on her shoulders, and she was smiling, laughing, and took wonderful care of me—in the end as I was leaving she gave me a big hug and said how sorry she was that I was leaving.

In another case a nurse who had taken good care of me, said it was only a matter of time before I had another stroke. I said, “I don’t agree. I will follow the doctor’s instructions,” which was what she wanted to scare me into, “I understand there are statistics, but I am not a statistic and that God’s will reigns supreme, and if He wills it I will recover my full health.”

Such messages received by a weakened mind can be receptive soil and give birth to self-fulfilling prophesies. I utterly rejected them then, and I still do. We must be careful that our thoughts and words comport with highest truth to promote the greatest good.

Prana Life-Force—Life-force or Prana is the underlying cause of healing working through the cells and our intelligence. It also gives us the power of movement. There were many times a day that I focused my mind at the back of my head and along my spine to move this body when I was standing, walking and moving my arm and I felt the difference.

Clearing/Charging Breath—Many of you who have taken the class will know the Clearing/Charging Breath which I have freely employed throughout my rehab time and has proven to be extremely useful for pain relief, and I plan to use more of the Charging Breath going into the future for strengthening different body parts.

Chanting—Chanting is unparalleled for keeping the mind on God and feeling His Bliss.

Spiritual Family and Kindred Spirits—The great good that has come from this time is the love and support I have received from our spiritual family and kindred spirits around the world. I have felt the power of prayer and received cards and email that reflect the Godhood in devotees in ways I have not seen manifest before. I do believe there is a swell of spiritual consciousness that is lifting us higher, and for that I have tremendous gratitude.

Gratitude for All That I have been Given—The value of these yoga methods cannot be overstated, and I am filled with gratitude for God and Gurus and His Saints through whom His Grace flows. Every day Carla and I visited St. Francis statue in the Healing Garden, we pronamed to him and asked his blessing for all the patients in the hospital and all the care givers as well. What Grace has poured on this head and blessed me in untold ways.