Picture: Arjuna Surrendering to God (Krishna) Before Entering Into Battle
Part of the journey of this pilgrimage for us is the unexpected need to learn to navigate through the medical/insurance complex. Like all of life’s undertakings, it requires a combination of patience and persistence.
Fortunately I have had Carla as a partner in this endeavor. She has pushed to get doors to open and uses me as the big hammer backup when her efforts do not yield results. This began at the end of last year in signing up for health insurance. Even though an entire bureaucracy had been set up to get first time people to be enrolled, bewilderment and frustration only seemed to build with each interaction. However, at a time Carla just wanted to let it all go, some inner force in me kept insisting that we must have health insurance; something neither one of us have had it since leaving jobs that provided it.
With a few calls from the “big hammer” the doors of healthcare slowly swung open and we were enrolled. Flash forward to October and the beginning of our need for health insurance made itself known. Even though we had a very large initial deductible, the specialist doctor in Moab assured us that we would easily exceed those amounts with the hospital stay.
I have to say, this modern system has literally saved my life. Without the blood transfusions and various procedures it is no stretch to say I would not still be living very long without their interventions. I am very grateful for those who have dedicated a significant portion of their lives to learning the skills to care for those whose bodies have ceased to function properly.
With that being said there are also gaps in our current system that could be bettered. One area was when we returned to Camano. I had not had a primary care physician (a PCP) due to the fact that I have not needed one in the 40 plus years, since I had a family physician that my parents arranged. I had been to see a physician a total of three times in those 40 years, and two of those times had been walk-in clinics. The insurance wanted me to now have a PCP, but calls around would require two plus weeks to see someone; and my blood count had gone from 8.3 to a dangerous 5.1 in the previous two weeks. Two weeks was too long to get in to see a physician.
So, Carla called in the big hammer, me. I called the 24 hour insurance nurse and told her it was recommended by the specialist doctor in Las Vegas that the best way to get in to see a doctor was to go to the hospital emergency room. The nurse was appalled a doctor said this, which he did, and I think dollar signs started to roll around in her head that the insurance would need to pay for such a visit. Suddenly she remembered they had a case management program; a case manager is an RN on the phone who was there to help you navigate the medical system.
With the very helpful case manager I had a doctor’s appointment for the next morning with an internist, who in turn made an appointment with a surgeon for Friday, and a PCP appointment for the next Tuesday in nearby Stanwood. Suddenly things were moving and felt to be on a good track. The internist also called to the lab that was supposed to have my results on Monday or Tuesday, this was Wednesday, and she talked directly to the lab tech, something Carla had not been able to do with repeated calls. He explained the first “staining” tests came back negative, but he wanted to run another series of tests; they would have the results in the next day (today).
This persistence had paid off! But along with the persistence has been patience. Waiting for results of a test that can have very large implications can be trying. It is both in the persistence and the patience that our spiritual life can play such a large roll. Attunement with God brings strength of will to act, along with faith that doors will open according to His will. This attunement also gives us patience, for all is ultimately in His hands.
We learn to strike when He prompts us to strike, and to reside in Him in pure trust when there is nothing for us to take action upon. Like the wise blacksmith, he knows that to strike upon iron when it is not yet up to temperature is uselessly spent energy. When the iron glows the right color of red, then it is time to strike the iron to give it the shape wanted. So too, when listening to God, He prompts us to strike when it will do the maximum good. Anxiousness will have us flailing about uselessly, wearing ourselves out with what turns out to be destructive actions because we are not attuning ourselves to Him.
This great lesson in life presents itself to you in many guises. Through school, in families and work situations, in all situations of life you are given the opportunity of learning to attune and trust your life to the all-powerful Lord residing in your heart and soul. Recognize His prompting to act when you must, without being held back by fear or attachment. To learn this most basic of spiritual lessons is to become free, for the burden resides upon God’s shoulders and He must devise what is to be done in any situation. What freedom there is in this loving, trusting and intimate attunement with the Infinite Spirit within you.