It has happened over time that my mind has become even more inwardly focused. As a part of this experience, it happens that when I am at even a great distance from dear ones, I feel so very closely connected to them. When on the phone or in person, there are times when a great pressure builds, my brain soon becomes overheated. There are exceptions to this, but on the whole, this is my state.
I have questioned, Mother, why choose me as God’s minister? A role normally filled by one who revels in the world of social circumstances, whereas God has increasingly made me a recluse. This withdrawal has definitely been at His instigation, both by His command and the way He makes me experience this world.
God’s love so powerfully flows through me, but so often, it does so best at a distance. Usually, human relationships feel closest when there is a close physical proximity—but God has given me this strange reversal. Such is the mystery of this life God has given me.
On another note, the uplifting power of Mother’s Mahasamadhi Anniversary continues with me, feeling her power and glory resonating within and in the ether all about me. This reality of knowing God in Mother and Mother in God makes the world tremble with holy vibration. In truth, I feel myself to be totally empty—God and Guru’s Presence is all there is. How can I look out on the world and say God is this, and not that, when there is only one: one Spirit, one God and one supreme Reality that is all and all in all!
[God seems to be in a funny mood as He writes this through me, wandering from subject to subject according to His whim!] There is a story that comes to mind about a disciple of Master’s, who went to see Swami Ramdas. When he asked Papa to be his guru, Papa replied to the man that he already had one, Master. But, the man replied, my guru is dead. Papa replied, Your guru is not dead—you areResurrect in us, O great Ones, Your wondrous Presence. Make us live, not as the worldly live, for they are dead to You, but renew us in your Living Waters that bring us wonder and beauty, joy and love unceasingly.
The Galilean Master said you cannot serve two masters, you must choose, either serve God or the world. You definitely live in this world, and you must Render unto Cesar what is Cesar’s, however there should never be a doubt who your true master is—who is central to your heart, mind and soul, and who it is that you are truly serving.