Picture: Seeing God (Krishna) in all.
Tragedy comes into the home in many ways. Sickness and Death are two common ways, but there are also tragedies of stealing, lying, cruel words, domestic violence and silent withholding; these are some familiar tragedies that too often snake their way into the home. While the first two instances may be beyond our direct control, the later acts are volitional and entirely within our choosing.
There are those who unthinkingly perpetuate such pain on a daily basis; many times without really thinking of the effect it has on others. I remember many years ago when I was in my master’s degree program we were enacting an adult student’s childhood family situation at Christmas time. She chose me to play her father, and two good friends of mine played her brothers. In this scenario there were common verbal fights and occasional dunken brawls that broke out to commemorate the season of “brotherly love and goodwill toward all mankind.”
I made a startling discovery in re-enacting the verbal fight; I felt the power of anger and loud, aggressive words pouring out of me. Then I was replaced by the woman whose family we represented; now I was a witness only. The difference in the effect this clash had on me, based on my perspective, was stark. I felt the loud words going right through me; I was physically assaulted by the vibrational violence. Where before I felt in control, now there was no sense of control and that anything might happen.
I was stunned by this change of perspective; it made me realize that many of those who yell, swear, threaten and possibly get violent have little idea of the effect they have on others. The one who is yelling knows what he or she will do or not do, while others are left to imagine to what extent it can all go.
When doing family therapy I have oftentimes thought how useful it would be to videotape the session, so that others may hear how they sound, what they look like when interacting with others. For many it would be shocking to hear his or her own tone of voice and the look on his face.
Self awareness is the first step in making a change. You can make more of an effort at self-awareness by really observing yourself in any situation. When you evaluate that what you say, or how you say it, is not reflective of the person you want to be then get busy and change your behavior. Simply writing it off as, “This is just the way I am,” is the cowards way and will lead to intense future regrets.
Make sure that your words are sweet, so just in case you have to “eat your words,” well you get the picture! Make your goal in life for every thought, word and action to be an expression of your highest Self; then you will not have to live with regret ever again. You are now an agent of truth, strength and healing for yourself and for all.