It has been very interesting reviewing Mother’s talks as we have been going through her transcripts from the 1980s. In thinking back over Mother’s life there are definite hallmarks that stand out—taking incarnation on Christmas Day 1904, meeting Master 1925, Mother being made minister and Yogacharya 1948 and 1951, Master leaving the body 1952, Mother attaining Nirvikalpa Samadhi and meeting Papa and going to Anandashram 1954 and 1957, returning to India 1967, attaining Sahaja Samadhi 1970 and going to India again 1978, and then traveling to South Sea Islands, Australia and New Zealand in 1981, and entering into what I have called a second Mystical Crucifixion, then there was her Mahasamadhi at the beginning of 1991. These broad-brush strokes of Mother’s life give a wide-angle view of a life lived in service to God and Guru.
One may also look at significant moments in Mother’s life, the fine-brush strokes in her life-portrait. Such as when she came to Service one Sunday and said that God had revealed to her the famous “missing link” in Darwin’s evolution idea—the missing link being there is no evidence for an evolutionary transition between lower species and humans. Mother said that God showed her this link from animal to human occurs in the astral realm, and cannot be explained by simple genetic jumps. Or, when Mother stood up—as Elizabeth Haich had said to Mother—and proclaimed, “I am that I am!” And the wonderful experience Mother had in doing this significant action that freed her once and for all from thinking she was insignificant. Then there was the moment when Mother confirmed with the fully-realized master, Swami Ramdas, the revelation that God had given her—the scriptures are, in reality, the story of every man’s evolution from the human to the divine. As Swami Satchidananda commented, it was a moment of great truth!
Every life may be seen from its broad strokes all the way down to its micro-moments of decisions, actions and revelations. Mother’s life took many unexpected turns, to both herself and those around her. God’s will can seem so inscrutable at the time, and it may take the perspective of generations to appreciate what is being accomplished. Jesus’ life looked like a disaster at its end: he was horribly killed, disciples fled in every direction. To the Sadducees and Romans it was only a tiny blip at the time, and then for hundreds of years small groups of followers met in secret; all but one of the twelve disciples were killed for their beliefs. Jesus life and death did not look like much at the time, much less did it have the appearance of being a world-changing event.
And those micro-moment decisions, how they can affect so many. Master returned to India in 1935, then he considered not coming back to America. He wrote to Rajasi that he was “in a fix,” if it was not for Rajasi and a few others Master would not return. And how we have all benefited from the fact that God prompted Master to continue his work here! And when Papa left hearth and home to follow God’s will by becoming a sannyasin, and when Mataji left her home to be with Papa amidst storms of criticism—so many decisions made in the moment upon which the world turns—and we are thus benefited.
I remember being at the Van Gough museum in Amsterdam. A guide explained how his pictures are made up of so many tiny dots. When you stand close to the painting, you see many, many fine colored points that do not really make sense. Then, as you take steps away from the picture those dots begin to coalesce into flowers, rivers, trees, reflections in water—it all comes together into a beautiful portrait. Who could have known this when seeing only tiny strokes of color up close? In this way we may see our lives as so many little actions and decisions throughout the day. Those little decisions may seem insignificant on their own, but without those tiny dots of action there would be no larger picture when we step back to see what has been created.
God has taken me on many adventures in this life, some of which have been inexplicable at the time, even contrary to what I thought should have happened. Yet, from the perspective of a few steps removed those decisions, actions and revelations create pictures that illumine His plan. Even those things I thought were mistakes at the time all add up to something beautiful for God. When mistakes equal learning, and learning produces growth, then even what does harm in the moment can be made to serve a higher good in the end—those crazy dots not only make the picture interesting, but the darkly shadows makes the brightness all the more brilliant.
God has, in recent years, certainly led me on a journey that is much different than I would have thought beforehand. He took me on a proposed circumambulation around North America, only to be interrupted by illness. Then, after this delay, on around the continent; not so much to see people, although this too is part of the journey, but majorly to see nature’s and manmade cathedrals. Now He has us traveling to the Southwest’s desert, seemingly away from you. He does not have me seek out people-connections, but seems intent upon Nature’s Cathedrals and most of all to be inwardly communing with Him.
Now, this inward communion can and does take place anywhere and everywhere; so why does He bring me here? It is a mystery. Outwardly I can sit to read a book, but I spend an hour lifted up in Him and barely read a page! He draws me unto Himself, I merge into His Being, and through Him with all of you. Those are the dots, and through the dots He is painting His masterpiece.
Oh Ram, Oh Lord, You alone know the ins and outs of Your plan, You alone can know what You are creating and why. I know that You only do good. So, in being in You, Your will brings about the highest good for all. Meanwhile, each dot, each moment is lived in You and is keeping Your will—that is what I know.