The recent passing of my mother, Christine, Prem and others close to us has made grief not only something that is common to all of us, but it is also current and personal to me.
My observations about my own experiences with grief as well as what I have seen in others has shown me there are ways that grief can bind us and place us in an unendurable hell, or pass through us in a way that makes us grow as we receive comfort from a higher Source.
Jesus said, “Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.” Now it does not appear that all those who mourn have comfort, yet that is what Matthew reported the Master saying. I say this; all those who turn to God for comfort in their mourning do receive the Comforter of the Holy Spirit. Those who turn away from God either from hurt, anger or fear remain without comfort because those ones have closed the door to Grace.
This feeling of connection with God, grace, comfort and inner assurance is what makes all the difference. When you feel connection with God you may shed tears, feel sadness, even the twist of pain in the heart in grief and yet your soul is not overcome with it. Along with pain will come comfort, peace, and even joy.
There are ways to proceed through grief that do not bind you to the ignorance of separation from God:
- When you open your heart to the great Comforter you will have a balm to heal the wound of grief.
- When you stand as an observer on the banks of the river and see/feel your grief flowing through your own heart, flowing out in front of you and letting it go, then you may experience the pain and loss that is mighty, but it is endurable and you will have peace.
- When you let go of anger, disappointment and pain about a loss, and you do not let it separate you from your Creator, then, with time, the very same thoughts of loss that created pain in the beginning will transform into feelings of love and gratitude.
You will in all likelihood have some reaction to the death of a loved one, although it is not absolutely necessary. For instance, you may through your connection with God feel direct awareness of the individual soul as that one moves into his or her new life and there is no loss of connection either with the person or with God, and thus no sense of loss, no sorrow.
When that is the case you know there is no reason to grieve for that soul, for that one is now free of his physical frame that is known to be like a heavy lead overcoat in comparison to the lightness of being in spirit. When in the body one is normally limited to the five senses, now in spirit he is free and awareness is immeasurably greater; more closely attuned to divine emanations. You may experience pure joy for that soul that soars beyond this physical world, even as you might for a bird that has been long caged and is now able to fly free.
However, there may be other cases that even though you know about the current freedom of a soul, you may still feel the loss; even as you might feel loss for someone close to you who moves a great distance away. There is memory stored in the mind and body that expects that one to walk into the room, give you a call, or celebrate a holiday; with each body memory you may feel some pang of loss in the realization that one will not be walking through the door. The great Comforter will heal these poignant pains; the observer in you will see them pass through you without entrapping you.
Without knowing the eternal nature of the soul and your ability to pass feelings through, grief may very well end up entrapping you. Your inability or unwillingness to let the feelings go will trap them in your mind and body and you will endure unending torture of painful loss as they cycle through your mind and body again and again. This hell is not required, nor is it wanted by the one who has passed.
When you remain mindfully conscious of Spirit through a loss, it purifies the mind. The death of someone close to you is a stern reminder that you are a “renter” in this body, not a “buyer;” that one day death will come to claim you as well, and this clarity can lead to wisdom. When a death makes you go deeper to find comfort or answers, then you also grow spiritually. The choice of how you deal with death of the body is up to you; you may always choose the higher calling and be blessed.
When, not if, you have loss in your life remember to be conscious in this process and let it draw you closer to Divine Consciousness, fulfilling the great truth spoken by the great Galilean Master, blessed are they that mourn.