Picture: Krishna dancing on the head of the poisonous snake Kaliya
The internal journey of a life is where life is really lived, for it is the creator of all activities. It may come as a surprise to many how much of an internal life we have, even as infants and small children. In fact it is only through conditioning by this world that mental reflection is sometimes blocked out, in favor of living a life that is simply reactive to the conditions of this world.
It is in the practice of meditation we come up against how conditioned we are by this world. Even when in a safe meditation place the mind races with preoccupations of this world: “What happened yesterday? What will happen today? A careful recall of things that happened years ago (or lifetimes ago). What will happen years from now?” All these thoughts can fill your mind when your whole intention is to become still in the here and now.
In these past weeks I have been absorbing what doctors have been telling me, what different books and people are saying; taking it all in and digesting it for possible future action. In addition I have been witness to how this mind and body are reacting to all of this information.
When I focus on the condition of the body in the here and now, I feel fine. I know that it can take some months for the anemia to completely right itself, but I can walk up hills and run on my rebounder each day with a building endurance that replicates times of past good health. My incision is healing very nicely and there are no tumors. Life is good.
In the midst of all of this is what doctors tell me is a looming problem, what the oncologist called the sword of Damocles. Now, in the story the sword of Damocles is held by a hair and hangs over the head of the king; it may give way at any moment. The other day I was running on the rebounder, listening to a song about Krishna and looking at a beautiful picture I have of the Master. Suddenly a mental image came to me of the sword of Damocles above me, and instead of hanging by a hair it was held by smiling Krishna. How lovely is that!
The reality is that facts are not always truth. The fact is there is a statistical probability of new tumors growing. The truth is, no one knows for sure. Another truth is that the mind is a powerful player in health; hope, faith, love and trust all enhance the health of the body. Also, there are healthy habits of eating and exercise that helps create an inhospitable body (what one researcher calls the “terrain”) for cancer cells.
So, first of all, I choose God (smiling Krishna is in charge of the sword), I choose empowerment of choice for healthy habits, I choose love, and I choose to continue to learn, grow, serve and to be happy!
There are many examples of people who live long lives unfulfilled and unhappy. There are other examples of those who had shorter lives but were quite the opposite, in fact they changed the world in infinitely better ways. The lives of Jesus, Adi Shankaracharya, St. Francis, Swami Rama Tirtha, the “Little Flower” St. Teresa, and Swami Vivekananda may have been short, but oh what lives they lived!
The sword is in Krishna’s hand, and while I am here I will sing, and dance, and serve, and be in the joy of God for all the days of my life. And who knows, God may not be done with me yet!